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Milwaukee's Daily Magazine for Wednesday, May 23, 2012

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In Kids & Family Commentary

Equality will never be achieved until we can all look at each other as people first.

When will people just be able to be people?


I could be a Christian or I could just as easily be a Jew.

Confusing, I know, but imagine if you are me. I grew up in a household with a Jewish father, an Episcopalian mother and a staunch Roman Catholic grandmother.

It hasn't been easy, but I have a religious code of ethics and attitudes that has evolved and continues to do so. I like to think I've taken the best Christian stuff, mixed it up with the best Jewish stuff and tossed in just a pinch of Catholic teaching and here I am.

I find my religious sensibilities (and all my other sensibilities) deeply offended by something that's going on in our great state and making national news.

Up in Shawano they had a point, counter-point thing in the school newspaper. The issue was adoption of children by same-sex parents. One student supported it, the other one, Brendan Wegner, opposed it and cited his Christian beliefs as the basis for his opinion.

Now, I think this poor Wegner kid is dead wrong and is going to have some difficulties as he moves out of high school into the real world, where Christians and Muslims and gays and straight and a lot of other people get along just fine.

But what happened in Shawano after the article appeared is what is so dispiriting about this.

Nick Uttecht, one-half of a gay couple with children in the Shawano public schools, was upset. He said the opinion piece was bullying. He didn't want his kids to learn about this kind of attitude.

And the school system, proving once again that people with high level educations can be just as stupid as the rest of us, wrote a letter apologizing for the opinion piece and promising to examine how that student newspaper went about its business.

"Offensive articles cultivating a negative environment of disrespect are not appropriate or condoned by the Shawano School District," district Superintendent Todd Carlson said in a written statement.

Then one of those righteous Christian law firms, this one calling itself the Liberty Counsel, got involved by threatening the superintendent telling him not to dare punish young Mr. Wegner. I've always believed that places like the Liberty Counsel are places where lawyers who could barely pass the bar exam ended up. On its home page the Liberty Counsel has an endorsement quote from the Rev. Jerry Falwell. That should tell you all you need to know about this group, plus he's been dead for almost four years.

Here's the problem with this whole thing. Uttecht, who is raising four kids with his partner, got upset with the school newspaper.

"I'm worried the lasting impact of this thing. I'm worried about how this is going to affect my kids," said Uttecht. "And I'm worried how gay students in school will be treated. It took me a long time to come out, and I think this just really sets things back by being so closed-minded. This sets things back 20 or 30 years." I know there are at least three openly gay families in the district, there's probably more.

What effect is this going to have on my kids? And how are other people going to react?"

I wonder if this guy thinks he is going to be able to protect his four kids, none of whom are adopted (I guess he and his partner had them when they were both married to women), from people who think gays are evil bad people who threaten the foundation of our world. He won't be able to, of course. Like they say, ignorance is temporary, stupid is forever.

What he's done here though is make a little problem much worse. He is teaching his kids that what you do with hateful speech is prohibit it. Eliminate it. Shut it down. Punish people for saying it.

That's just about the worst lesson you can teach. Much worse than worrying about how a few religious zealots can't figure out that two people who love each other ought to be able to live together without hassle from bigots.

Talkbacks

beefsupreme | Feb. 4, 2012 at 10:20 a.m. (report)

to answer your title's question dave: when people start listening to Ron Paul.

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mikeb | Feb. 3, 2012 at 11:00 a.m. (report)

uww, You have a point, but all I am saying is that every major religion is against this. I don't recall every major religion ever being opposed to interracial marriages (maybe inter-faith ones).

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Hckyboy00 | Feb. 2, 2012 at 7:43 p.m. (report)

There are a whole lot of issues with this situation, and all they do is make it more complicated. On one hand, i'm not so sure 'freedom of the press' extends to high school newspapers. I think as a practice in American civics most schools are pretty lenient with what is between the football score and the blurb for cheer leading tryouts. That being said, whomever is heading up this paper should have nipped this in the bud before it even got off the ground. A point-counterpoint on something as intricate as same-sex adoptions might be a bit out of the pay grade for high school students, and more so, soft skinned parents of high school students. If anybody has talked to the students of the school, i'm sure they are probably amazed at the press the story is getting. most of them probably don't have an opinion one way or another on the discussion. However, i won't knock a kid for basing a counterargument on religious belief. You can believe what you want to believe. but, if you don't believe same sex couples should adopt, do the world a favor, and don't try and adopt with a member of the same sex. Your beliefs are fine until you attempt to use them as a supporting argument for legislation. Which is the problem most independents, liberatarians, and liberals all have with the new rise of conservatism, is that they are using religion to legislate, which is specifically pointed out in the constitution as a no-no. (no religion or belief shall be held above all others) Another side in the story is parents with thin skin. I know you want to protect your kid from the horrors of the real world, but if you are openly gay, you have a even greater responsibility to educate your child not only that it is ok for a man to love another man, but to educate them on how some people in the world perceive same sex relationships. If that would have happened, this would be more of a 'i told you this was coming' moment, rather than a 'i need to protect my innocent child' moment.

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uww27225 | Feb. 2, 2012 at 4:57 p.m. (report)

mikeb, it used to be people would get upset that you called them hateful because they opposed interracial marriage or adoption by interracial couples. Hiding a hate under the excuse of religion doesn't stop it from being hateful bigotry. Imagine if the kid wrote an editorial in the school paper about why he though black people shouldn't get married! We're getting there, but we're still in a time where prejudice towards homosexuals can be veiled as a "different opinion"

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mkelover | Feb. 2, 2012 at 4:18 p.m. (report)

Freedom of speech is embraced andd fought for...until of course you're offended by it. It's kind of like being labeled a racist for stating that Northridge would remain open today had they enacted policies similar to Mayfair/Bayshore or not wanting to walk through a high-crime neighborhood.

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